I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
