In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
