you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
