Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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