We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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