the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
