If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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