A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
