Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
there was a trapeze. enough said
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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