I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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