just tell him i said nine months
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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