We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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