the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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