He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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