Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
