D3 body, D1 cock
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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