On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
