a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
