just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
