i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
