I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize