he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
