U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
