thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
