I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
