Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
