He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
