Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm getting married
To pizza
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
