So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
