TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
