He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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