The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
