I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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