Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
