tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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