aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
