Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
