so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
