I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
