Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
