I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
