um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
