There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
