Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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