Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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