thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
