allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
