Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
