yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
