I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
