I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
