When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
