i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I intend to get homeless drunk
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
