Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
