All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
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