she was so not down for the gang bang
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
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