He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
