I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize