singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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