I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
