is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
