I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
