My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
