Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
