There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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