I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
