how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
